Barney's Fair

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If you’re Irish, come into the parlour... so goes the old song...

If you’ve ever encountered Murphy’s Law, if you enjoy Irish songs, Irish jokes and Irish logic, you’ll really enjoy Barney’s Fair! The story unfolds as an Irish family, aided and abetted by the befuddled hero,  Paddy, try valiantly to save the fair ground from being sold by the greedy landlord,  Mortimer Stubbs to a developer as a golf course.

 The stallholders of the fair including the amazing Madame Valda, fortune teller, Wan Hung Lo, Chinese herbalist, and Nellie the Belly Dancer are assisted by Cathy and Grannie in their endeavours  to  prevent Lady Poncington-Jones discovering who is the real owner of the fair ground. Learn the secrets of Chinese herbs, meet Monty the python, take a crash course in self defence, and try to unravel the intricate family relationships as everyone follows Barney and Grannie to the hilarious and somewhat surprising  conclusion of the play.


"Laughter and song flowed out over the Bundaberg Golf Club on St Patrick's Day as the members were entertained by BATS. Delighted patrons tapped their feet and sang along  to the well known Irish tunes."

Photos

Plot / Synopsis

Barney’s Fair is set in an Old English Fair-ground. Barney and his wife Irene and Grannie are probably Irish, but they don't have to attempt Irish accents so long as they throw in a few begorrahs and to be sures now and then.

If you have strong singers, put in more songs. If not leave some out, include an Irish Jig for the girls at some stage, perhaps as an opening number. Do try to include the audience as much as possible. After all they are at "Barney’s Fair" and having recognised that they are there, play as much of the dialogue as possible straight out front.

As noted in the cast list it is possible to use females in several of the male roles if you have a shortage of men. I would suggest that Barney, Paddy and Mortimer need to be males and Wan also unless you are fortunate to have a very versatile comedienne.

Above all have fun with the script, every-one in the cast should be played much larger than life....... The costumes, even the farmer, should be bright and colourful with lots of reds and greens. And the carnival folk, that is the residents of the fair can have as much glitter and sparkle as possible, really outrageous glitzy dresses for Madame Valda and Sweet Irish costume or a little girl blue dress for Cathy.

To be sure 'an I hope you and your company will be after havin' a successful season with "Barney’s Fair" an' all 'an all! And 'tis hopin' I am, to be sure, to be sure, that you'll all have as much fun with the script begorrah.....as we did here in Bundaberg Queensland!

Suggested Music

AS AN OVERTURE BETWEEN EACH ACT........With Me Shillelagh under my Arm, or When Irish Eyes are Smilin'..ANY ROLLICKING IRISH TUNE!

1. If You're Irish, or Come to the Fair.
2. Lovely Bunch of Coconuts. (Down at Barney’s Fair)
3. Hearts and Flowers.(MUSIC ONLY)
4. Enjoy Yourself, or Money, Money.
5. Pomp and Circumstance, (MUSIC ONLY)
6. Flash Bang Wallop ! or  I've never seen anything like it in my Life.
7. The Marrow Song, or Slow Boat to China.
8. You'd be Surprised, or Ain't he Sweet.
9. Big Spender, or My Heart Belongs to Daddy.
10. Orange and the Green.
11. The Old Grey Mare or Over the Hill.
12. It's a Great day for the Irish or Twenty-one Today.
13. Reviewing the Situation or Master of the House.
14. Dear Old Donegal
N.B. songs number 3 and 5 are instrumental only.
The show may be performed with or without music, above music is suggestions only as an indication of the type of song suitable. Music is of your own choosing and copyright permission should be sought from the appropriate publishers of any music used.

 

Cast

Fourteen Principals.  Chorus of Fair Folk optional.

CHARACTERS:-

BARNEY………………..Fairground Barker Manager
PADDY……………………..Gullible Handy-man
MORTIMER STUBBS……………Solicitor and landlord
WAN…………………..…..Chinese Herbalist
OFFICER KELLY …………..Irish police officer
FARMER ……………………May be doubled up with Officer Kelly
HELEN BACK …………Newspaper reporter
MADAME VALDA …………… Gipsy Fortune teller
IRENE ……………………..Barney’s wife
GRANNIE ………………….Barney’s Mother
CATHY ……………………Barney’s daughter
LADY PONCINGTON-JONES ………..Lady of the Manor
NELLIE …………………………..Belly Dancer
AGNES and MABEL …………….. Lady Golfers
The show may be performed by nine or ten women and three men by using a Farmers Wife, a Police-woman and a Lady Chinese Herbalist.

CHORUS OF STALLHOLDERS AND VILLAGERS OPTIONAL............

 

Sample Script

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Production Costs

12.5% of Box Office. Minimum $110 per performance. Purchase Scripts for $17.50 each or $165 for Licence to photocopy.