This is Your Captain Speaking

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It’s part comedy, panto, musical, movie and circus. It’s different. Your audience moves around the simple set from the busy terminal through customs and onto the plane. There’s a sing-along, short-sighted pilot, ’different’  passengers, homemade movie and much more. Staged by adults, teenagers and children around the world. Running time as long as you like. Great dinner theatre.

 "It was great for a small country town to perform with such flexibility in the staging. The performers had a lot of fun putting it on and the audience enjoyed participating in the show." Southern District Arts Trust New Zealand 2014.

"An out of the ordinary, fun and laughter-filled evening. An interesting  dinner theatre production that will have its audience raving for months to come. " Gordon F Kells HS Canada

The pace was fast and furious from the start with the traditional divide between cast and audience fading quickly. The cast obviously had a great time and the audience was gathered up by this enthusiasm. The action was happening everywhere at once and those in the audience were more a member of the cast than an observer.” Narracan News



Southern District Arts New Zealand 2014.


Terminal and Customs Hall


Booking Clerks               they process passengers and can double as Flight Attendants [Crew] on plane, they wear nametags with first given name

Freda                                 innocent victim of bungling undercover cops

Bungle                               bumbling, incompetent undercover police officer

Fick                                     Bungle’s partner [Bungle ‘n Fick] and equally as stupid

Sticky Beak                      inquisitive Customs officer, male or female, a real sticky-beak

Jill Ted                               passionate, jealous, demonstrative, current mistress of one [or more] of the male passengers [your Patrons]

Jigga Lowe                       male equivalent of Jill

Dopey                               wierdo, drug-addict, back-packer, long-hair, dishevelled

Matilda                             passenger from earlier flight, tourist who has lost her luggage

Announcer                      unseen airport-announcer [such speeches could be pre-taped]

Red-Neck                         airport security-guard, thick, a heavy, tactless

Extras                                staff in the shops, cafeteria and lounge, cleaners, customs officers, Information-Counter attendant, etc


Crew on Plane


Captain Myopic             short-sighted pilot, friendly, lousy comic, in charge [?] of the plane, loves everybody, crew try to hide him - wouldn't you?

Micky Phone                  chief flight-attendant, definitely in charge, pseudo-Captain

Flight Attendants          in-flight food and drink-waiters, as many as are necessary, male or female, use their second given-name, double as Booking Clerks from Area A



Dominique Le Club            pregnant French woman

"Zoom" Miller               foreigner, photography nut, perfect example of the terrible-tourist, "why must the wrong people travel?" [Noel Coward]

Colly Moddle            male, single, Ph D graduate in obscure branch of science, timid, dominated by his overbearing mother

Moira Moddle          Colly's mother, excessively proud of Colly, brusque, loud, over-protective of Colly who "endures" mother‟s affections

Father Forgive-Me    priest, could be Irish, enjoys a tipple and wager, unlikely to attain high ecclesiastical rank, seldom worried or upset, jovial

Frostie Glass   friendly drunk, inebriated but never dead-drunk, able to consume anything anywhere anytime, was dismissed from National Service duty, drove a tank into the officers' mess

Yobbo overweight,     overbearing, unattractive slob
Barbie slim,          glamorous, fashion model

NOTE: Doubling. Most of the roles can be doubled. e.g. Clerks/Flight Attendants, Freda/Moira, Bungle/Frostie, Fick/Yobbo, Matilda/Micky etc. You choose. Depending on the size of your company, you'll need a cast of between 10 and 100.



Sample Script

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Production Costs

12.5% of Box Office plus Licence to photocopy script.