Book Music and Lyrics by

“ … old age needn’t be nearly so dreary and sad as it’s supposed to be, provided you greet it with humour and live it with courage.” Noel Coward

What a challenge. You have to have kids walk, talk, sing even dance like old folk. It’s a fun but respectful look at old age set in a retirement home where being old doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy life. But what happens when the nasty Matron and corrupt Mayor plan to rob the old folks blind? Sometimes it can be tough when you’re body grows old. Having to contend with absent families and nasty so-called helpers really adds a strain. And when a mysterious offer to buy Smileaway is made, the security of the old folk is seriously threatened. Can the fogies survive? There’s life in them there fogies with their toe-tapping, flat-soled shoes!

Fogies was sensational! Cast and audience had a fantastic time. Singleton PS

Fogies was a huge success and the kids did a great job. The performances were even better than those in Rat Race. The crowds loved it. Dimboola HS


Edinburgh College in 2016
Production in South Grafton more than 20 years ago



JOYCE    fogie, strong, a leader, the spokeswoman for fogies

DAPHNE               fogie, Joyce’s friend and supporter

MATRON             greedy, heartless, selfish supervisor of the fogies

MAYOR                local politician, smarmy, greedy, lecherous and stupid

JEROME               terribly correct and proper, old-school tie fogie

MILLY    terribly correct and proper, old-school gloves and hat fogie

GLORIA                friendly fogie, dreamer, idealist, hopes her son will return one day

FREDA                 fogie, ditherer, absent-minded, often asleep

JACK                      cheeky fogie, all mouth and trousers, thinks he’s Don Juan

FRED                      Jack’s mate, old soldier, philosopher, well-read, modest

MURIEL                active fogie and strong supporter of Joyce

BERT                      active fogie and strong supporter of Joyce

EDDIE                  very old fogie with a passion for physical fitness

FLO                        very old fogie, Eddie’s friend and personal trainer

RUPERT                seemingly a simpleton, the gardener, loves his plants at Smileaway

MS MUSCLE       fitness expert who runs get-fit classes for fogies

AGENT  friendly, local real estate agent

FOGIES the chorus of your company

Sample Script

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Sample Music

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Instrumentation / Rentals

Fogies is scored for piano, guitar, bass, drum-kit, percussion, strings, flutes, clarinets, trumpets, and trombones. These band parts are for hire and will give your production a real zing! A marvelous stereo backing-tape is also available. Side A can be used for teaching and rehearsals. Side B has full orchestration and is ideal for performances.

Production Costs

14% of Box Office Plus Rentals of script and music.